Archive for the ‘From the Editor’ Category
So, this baby seal walks into a club…
A pair of strings sander into a bar. The first string orders and the bartender throws him out. “We don’t serve your kind here, faggot!” Seeing this, the second string recoils to the street, roughs himself up and slides back in to order. The bartender shouts, “Cocksucker! Didn’t you hear what I told your boyfriend?” [...]
Family made
There comes a revealing moment in the wrinkled foreskin of time when a young man is confronted by his destiny—his path toward defining a legacy to brand his namesake long after the purchasing of any farms or listing of buckets and what have you. For me, that moment came during a rather healthy bowel movement. Perhaps [...]
Cyber collision
You’ve recently developed the world’s largest supercollider and yet somehow Paris Hilton has more Facebook friends than you. “More coffee, sir?” injects the waitress. You stumble out a nod as your mind becomes aware of your surroundings. As you continue to struggle over this never ending post-high school popularity contest your PDA beeps. Good thing [...]
Peeping Tom, Dick and Harry
Left on area priest’s office answering machine: “About my confession last weekend…Mom says boys can’t have babies, so I guess it’s okay what I done.” Stolen from a fortune teller’s shop in Saudi Arabia: TO THE BEARER OF THIS HIDDEN NOTE, I ACTUALLY SAW THIS ROBBERY COMING. NOW YOU’LL BE A LOYAL CUSTOMER SINCE I [...]
Ask and you shall be given no straight answers
1. What time did you get up this morning? Hard to say. I woke up with it like that. 2. How do you like your steak? Stabbed directly into the heart of an oncoming vampire. 3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Not nearly as good as the novel I read [...]